Makes you want to slit those wrists!

You woke up this morning. Feeling dizzy,hungry,weirded out and alone. It's not working anymore. The plan is an epic fail. What are you going to do? Where are you going to turn now? The walls of the room begin to cave in on you. The screams of laughter and the sounds of plates and forks clashing downstairs sound distant.It's as though everyone is a million galaxies away from you.They become aliens. The need to socialize ceases to exist. You loose the urges. You stop to respect the rules. Every word that leaves your mouth has a "FUCK IT!!" at the end. It looks like everyone's out to get you. yea I know that feeling!

When you get that feeling like you're living your life straight out of a novel. When you hope you were dreaming,but that hope is of no use! Disconnected emotionally. Drained physically. No place to run. No shelter. It's over. But you don't tell yourself that. There's got to be a way out of this. The exit sign ought to appear sometime soon. I mean isn't that how things turn out? Visit hell a little, then back to heaven. Did you ever consider dwelling in hell for a while? Maybe call it home? Did you think things were going to always workout for you? You're funny. Seriously though? What world do you live in? lala land?!

"Sweety, people are going to talk.."

Can she think for a second? on her own this time.Not with all of you hovering over her.Pressuring her not with your words but with your nerve wrecking stares and furrowed brows. She has a decision to make. A major life changing decision too. So please, just this once, back the hell away.

Most of you don't even know her that well. What do you gain by telling her what to do, or what you think is right? huh? I find it funny how all of you like to call her hard headed or stubborn when she doesn't do what you tell her to. She's different, can't you see? Is it really wrong to do what you want to do from time to time without having all of you making remarks and saying "ohhh! People are going to start talking now..what are you going to do then?" She didn't commit a crime. What is there to talk about? How come everything she does or wants to do ends up being something that is not culturally acceptable?! Well I think, as long as what she does isn't religiously forbidden, then it is OK.So maybe people need to know, she knows what she's doing. She's not stupid. But then again, who am I to speak for her..

Temper

Sometimes you just got to let them go. Maybe in the end it's all worth it. I can't help but think, where did it all go wrong. Seems to me like every one's turning their backs on you. I could be wrong..I hope I'm wrong, but things don't look so good right now. I remember the look on your face when you got the news. The despair, anxiety and frustration all reflecting Christal clear on your soft,fragile,child like face. You mouthed the words "what did I do this time?" again..those words barely a whisper. But I knew it right away. I've come to memorize that scene. It's as though we go through these rehearsed cycles. It's like, like the universe is playing a practical joke on you. And somehow I play the same role. I don't want to be a part of this game. Standing around, not being able to help you,fix you..it's not easy. I didn't sign up for this crap. But then again, how dare I try to make it all about me? It's you who's having the hard time.

I can't help but try to remember when it all started. Was it 5 years ago? When you found out the "truth"? Is that when reality set in? Or were you blind until someone pointed it out to you? You know what, I want to shake the living crap out of you right now. I can't begin to wrap my head around your level of stupidity! Why don't you suck it up and get up? Fight back and for once in your life stop feeling bad for yourself. Although you're all over the place,start putting yourself together. Fix it damn it! Fix it right now! Quit the BS and do something about the drama. *sigh* I think I'm running out of things to say to you. Look at you! Your eyes are permanently red now, you pushed and shut all those people out.What's next?

TBC.