Naked

Here's a preview to the novel I've been working on:

She ran into her room, slammed the door and threw herself onto her bed. It was happening again. It’s almost like she memorized the order. She’d experience the anger first, it would build up inside her chest like tar on a smoker’s lungs, but she would control it. Tell herself that she won’t let it get to her, it wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth it. Depression followed, she would’t be able to eat, sleep or concentrate on her schooling. It was like he was etched in her brain cells. He was everywhere. She’d hear his voice, his laughter. Every other guy on the street looked like him or dressed him. The depression and the sadness start taking control over her. Sharifa would control her emotions, pushing them to the back of her mind. She didn’t have anyone to talk to. In her opinion, there was no one trust worthy. People wouldn’t understand, they’d judge her instead. She didn’t need the extra attention, being the talk of the town because of what he did. Her smiles were beginning to fade; the lovely giggles were no more. A walking corpse she’s become. Grades down the drain. She was losing herself. As she went on to conceal her misery from everyone around her, the moment came when she could bare it no longer. So she cried, she sobbed till her eyes hurt from the crying. Till it felt like her heart was about to be explode into billions of pieces. It wouldn’t go away. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. Her quiet sobs turned into ear shrieking screams. Sharifa wanted it to stop, if only someone could make them all go away. She kept wishing she never existed. She continued to grieve, she was alone. It was her against the world. There was no way out for her, and she knew that very well. She wondered if it would fade and disappear. If one day she’d look back at the trauma and breathe a sigh of relief because it was behind her.
It took her a while before there were no more tears. She lay there motionless and brain dead. She got up and walked towards the mirror to look at herself. She examined her face, her hair, her body. What she saw was a neglected young woman. Every square inch of her body was incomplete. She was ugly from head to toe. Thoughts ran through her head; “what was I thinking?” “Why do I look so hideous?” Who am I? Why do I even exist? I’m useless. No one wants me, they hate me! Look at me!!! And as those thoughts kept running through her head she couldn’t hold back the fresh set of tears.

Chapter 1
Sharifa was the second child in family with six children. Her elder brother was never around so she took the role of the eldest. She’d help her mother with the kids, teach them when they needed help with schooling, cooked for them when they were hungry and the work never ended. Sharifa was a straight A student, envied by many of her peers and admired by her teachers. She was competitive, active and passionate. As a child she dreamt of being a doctor and make her parents proud. But after all she’s been through she laughs every time she remembers the “good old days”. She wondered if she could rejuvenate herself again. She wished she knew if she would ever get past the hardship and whether the wounds would disappear one day.....


Her mother was her role model, her back bone and her only alley. Sharifa’s mother held her hand when she needed a hand to hold hers, gave her words of wisdom when Sharifa secretly considered ending her life. Her mother was her sunshine, her light, her everything. While Sharifa was suffering, her mother’s strength baffled her, after all her mother had to fight a battle of her own. Her younger siblings suffered in silence, their fear a clearly reflecting in their big green eyes. Sharifa was torn. She wanted to fix it all, make all the bad vanish into thin air, give her family what they truly deserved. He wasn’t a part of it. But he wasn’t part of the family; well not as far as Sharifa was concerned......

MARCH(ing) forward

I can't begin to fathom the drastic changes that have taken form within this quarter alone! From finally deciding on what career path I want to pursue to having my writing work published (finally)in a magazine!It's called OLOGY and ya'll should check it out!I still remember the hard work and crazy effort The sand storm team put in last year to get our newsletter published only to have Ursala say NO because "we're under AURAK management now and not GMU." I hope she gets bitten by a cow! But anyways, I no longer wish to become a journalist;I've put that dream to rest.That doesn't mean I'll stop writing, it just means that I won't try and make a career out of it. I'm more into the science world. I realized that I've been taking all these science classes and I truly enjoy them! Science satisfies the nerd in me(lol?). So, I'm gona work my way towards getting that goal accomplished(if there is a will there is a way,right?). I'll just have to wait and see what happens.
Besides the whole career change thing,I have truly enjoyed the winter,needless to say I was pretty darn prepared for the worst! I had my ski gloves,crazy scarves,sweaters,jackets and my awesomely awesome north face boots! I made sure I did not catch a funky disease. I do regret however, not taking full advantage on the snow and letting loose. Like the many times I fantasised of diving head first into a pile of snow or the days I itched to build me a snow man,or simply to go skying/snow boarding.*Sigh* I'll definitely do that next year(ins'allah)!I won't forget the times I slipped and fell either on my butt or on my knees, and they all took occured in front of my house! No where else,except for my freaking front porch!I was taking aback by its beauty and purity(the snow off course and not the falling). I always dreamed of experiencing snow and now that I did, I can't wait for next year! Insane gay-ness will take overr!!HAHA

I'm now a dedicated gym-er! My friends call me a gym whore but I prefer the term gym-fanatic!It has a cool-er ring to it,don't you agree? I love it. No matter how hard or how sore I get, it's all worth it in the end. I started lifting weights too!Something I feel soo happy about because as some of you know, I went through excruciating pain freshmen year with my nerves being damaged and me not being able to even lift a pen/cup without screaming in pain. I'm glad that it's finally over! And as a result I got me some biceps(yea baby!)!!What's more is that I couldn't have done it without my trainer! He showed me the way! He's pretty awesome btw.I'd say, if you're looking to get motivated at the gym then get yourself a trainer! It works I swear!!I can't imagine my day without working out, and I'm gona try some new stuff out like spinning classes. I'm officially a member of the shotokan karate club at OSU! That is soo exciting.I've been into karate since high school but I discontinued it after I graduated. Going back will definatly bring back fun,crazy workout days.One thing is for sure, there is no sensei as great as Sensei Al Hadad! That man was an incredible teacher! I hope my new coach(S) won't be disappointing.

So,So,SO,I turned 19!!!!!!!!!!!! So freaking confused.lol. I have mixed feelings about this whole "I'm 19" thing, it's one of those retarded birthdays,you know..like when you turn 15 you don't really care, you can't wait for your sweet 16..It's like that for me..GOD!It's safe to say that I did not do anything anything crazy or wack! It was a pretty ordinary day filled with lame-ness,random-ness and funky-ness!! I wanted to get high so bad but I guess it wasn't meant to be.HAHA I intend on enjoying my last year as a teenager. Once I hit 20 I don't think any of the stuff that I'm doing now will be age appropriate(no pun intended). I had a few B-day wishes,like maybe 90% of the Somali population in Columbus will move to Minnesota? or how maybe my dad would surprise me with a car as a B-day present? or Maybe I grew an inch or 2 taller? Let's just say, non of those happened. *shockkerrrr*

Spring quarter is round the corner, I honestly can not wait for another awesome quarter. OSU grew on me! I can't image being at any other institution! =p I keep getting better at the whole "building myself a future thing" and my ass keeps getting smaller (yaay). So I have alot to look forward to,besides the many dogs that will chase me around the oval once the heat starts kicking in! I am seriously considering therapy because I don't think I can handle another dog running after me while I try to save my leg!

Peace out!<3